We were beyond excited this year to head to the fair now that our little Justine is much less “squirming lump” and much more “mobile ball of unbridled energy,” old enough to appreciate some of the sights and sounds this fantastic event has in store.  We arrived early, soon after the gates open, and threw ourselves into experiencing the various shows and booths.  In quick succession we watched a troupe of acrobatic dogs, a family of bears capable of riding bicycles (although not bicycling backwards nor blowing bubbles) and a group of wakeboarders “shredding” some two by fours with the help of a modified lawn mower engine and a tow rope.

After a quick stop at the New York State Potato Growers Association booth for a nutritious breakfast (a loaded potato), we headed to the livestock buildings to show our daughter what all the animals look like close up.  While she found the 1234324 varieties of rabbits fascinating, she was less enthralled with the cattle, perhaps because of the nonchalance with which they relieved themselves, sporting a “so?  I pooped?” look of indifference on their faces. Frankly, I was surprised Justine didn’t identify with them.  She probably wondered what size diaper they should’ve been wearing.

We grabbed a quick lunch around noon, with Kim and Justine snacking on a chicken pita, while I decided on a slightly less healthy “fried sampler,” consisting of two fried oreos, two fried chocolate chip cookies, and a fried peanut butter and jelly (as a main course).  The particular booth I patronized actually offered a “you bring it, we’ll fry it” service, which I skeptically assumed was an empty promise until the guy in front of me was handed his fried hamburger.  Only at the fair.

After lunch, it became clear that our well-behaved toddler was quickly devolving into an over-tired “fussy monster,” and so we weighed our options.  We decided to try and find a quiet spot, nurse her (that would be my wife’s task) and then hopefully get her to fall asleep in the stroller.  That is how we found ourselves under some bleachers in the horse coliseum, pushing a stroller in figure eights in a vain attempt to bring about naptime while teams of horses pulled old fashioned stagecoaches around a dirt track nearby.  Judging by the knowing glances and snickers of passers by, our attempts at causing spontaneous napping was failing badly.  Intent on enjoying more of the fair, we fell back to plan B.  Ignoring her, and just walking about, in hopes she’d just pass out.

This failed too.

Finally we decided to leave the fair, and then ride the shuttle back to the parking lot in hopes she’d fall asleep on the bus.  After a few roundtrips and a chastising from the bus driver (“you can’t just ride the bus all day…”), we fell back to our final plan.  We went back to the car, laid our now inconsolable child into her car seat, turned up her baby tunes, and waited.

Two minutes.  That’s all it took and she was out cold.  She slept for the next hour and a half as we returned to the fair, visiting the dairy building for twenty five cent chocolate milk and frozen cheesecake on a stick, trying to find bathrooms that were not overflowing with fairgoers, and strolling through the two buildings full of vendors hawking everything from steam powered mops to ShamWows to Jesus.  (My favorite was The Right to Life booth, which was giving out plastic fetuses).  When she finally woke up, we visited the pigs and the petting zoo (with a real live giraffe!), let her learn the harsh truth about carnival games (which she didn’t – she wanted to take the rubber ducks rather than the prize), grabbed a quick dinner and headed out, some nine hours after we had arrived.

All in all, another magical day at the Great New York State Fair.  If you ever have the chance to attend, I heartily recommend it – and try the deep fried Milky Way.  It will change you.  Forever.

- MWF -

Happy Fatherhood Friday to all, and to all a good day!

We started off the evening with the rides, under the supposition that motionful rides plus an  infant’s full belly would lead to less than desirable result.  A “test-run” we ran with Justine earlier in the week made it clear that riding “acapella” was not in her repertoire, and so Kim and I both took a spin on the flying elephants with her, with some success (and some unbridled screaming).  Her older cousins did a much better job riding in the fire trucks, spaceship, boats and on the upside down Ferris Wheel.   After we all had our fill, we finished on the classic carousel – Kim trying to coax a smile out of Justine as she perched on her faux horse, while I tried in vain to maintain my balance and get some decent pictures as the wheel spun violently, jettisoning many a small, untethered children into the hard concrete below.

After the rides, we headed to a pizza place just a few storefronts down from the rides, and ordered a few pies for everyone.  Remarkably we made it through the meal with a minimum of meltdowns but a sizable fallout zone of fallen pizza thanks to the toddlers and their high chairs.  After paying the bill and making our standard apologies for the noise, mess, and lousy tip, we headed back onto the boardwalk in search of dessert.

The sea-air infused planks in Ocean City offer a stunning myriad of sugary delights, from the ubiquitous funnel cake and cotton candy to the more exotic deep fried Oreos and veal gelato.  And of course, the ice cream.  There was little debate as we all partook of either some good ol’ fashioned hard ice cream or the delectable soft serve from Kohr Bros.  We consumed our tasty victuals as we waited for a local shore band (The Tidal Wave Band) to get set up.  By the time they started their show, our dear little toddler’s were well entrenched in the mind-bending grip of sugar.

Her older cousins quickly broke into spontaneous dance, busting moves I’d only ever seen on Soul Train and/or Lawrence Welk.  And then there stood Justine, marveling at retired beach bums spinning Beach Boy riffs and pounding steel drums in front of her, in awe of the site and jittery as the sucrose coursed through her veins.  I captured her on film at this exact moment of bliss.

“No. Way.”