We arrived early, which apparently is not the thing to do first thing Monday morning. We ended up waiting for about 45 minutes, which was about 42 minutes longer of Al Roker that I wanted to watch. Once we did get in, it was clear that everyone was in a rush (I think related to the whole Monday morning thing). The pleasantries were pretty much cast aside, and before we knew it things were being put in places unmentionable here, and the screen lit up with Kim’s insides. And there was clearly a larger mass o’ stuff then there was last time. And, if you looked closely, the thing was moving. Unless a small rodent burrowed up there, it appears that we are indeed expecting a child (a SINGLE child I should note). Then the doc pressed a few buttons and suddenly we could hear the dub dub dub the thing was emitting, which is really amazing considering that while it was bigger than before, it’s still pretty darn tiny. I’m proud to note that it keeps time pretty well – perhaps a drum major in the making? Or at least maybe a bass drum in the making?

Then before we knew it, the lights are on and they were escorting us out. We had time for a few quick questions (turns out the soy protein shakes are good to eat, and flying in a few weeks is no trouble at all), and then we were deposited in the waiting room. They directed down to a laboratory where a phlebotomist stole 4 vials of blood from Kim (apparently they didn’t need my blood) for the first round of prenatal testing, including an added test for toxoplasmosis (that weird bacteria thing that cats get). We are scheduled for our next appointment after the Thanksgiving holiday, which they described as our first OB visit. Not sure what these “other” visits were called (perhaps “Ultrasound Seek and Find visits”), but once again we are looking forward to seeing how this little parasite (who has already made me late for work despite not being born yet) will have grown in 3 weeks…

On a side note, the last co-worker in my office is now aware of the situation, through no actions of my own.  Someone “spilled the beans” to him,  and he was subsequently “ratted out” by my “prison snitch” of a boss.  Oh well.  At least I don’t have to dance around anything anymore…

1)  We’re going to Las Vegas/Palm Springs in late November – is flying going to be an issue?

2) Is there a “no-list” for eating stuff (if it would be shorter – as I have heard – maybe a “yes” list instead)

3) Can Kim continue to eat soy protein shakes in the morning?  More importantly, does she even want to?

4) Can I drink twice as much and say that I’m “drinking for two” and not be considered an alcoholic?

We’re pretty excited for the visit as we’ll see another ultrasound, where we might be able to actually see something “babyish”, or at least something that looks a tadpole.  Plus we’ll get confirmation that the baby is growing and is healthy which is good too.  AND I get out of work for a while.  Followup to follow tomorrow…

Also told one of my co-workers who works remotely out of our Boston office (actually it’s more of an apartment).  It was one of those emails where you were sent a list of issues and you respond after each bullet.  I snuck in after one of the entries:

“This is complete.  Also my wife is pregnant and we are due in June.”

There was much debate in the office as to whether he would pick up on the line – amazingly he did…

Anyway we were excited to go because a) it’s always fun seeing newborn babies, b) it’s always fun to leave people with their screaming newborns so you can go home and get some sleep when they clearly are getting none and c) we were very ready to get the secret out in the open to my boss considering there would be appointments and such that I would need to miss work for in the very near future.

With their absence at the party, we had to scramble to come up with yet another unique way of telling them. What we settled on somewhat last minute was to purchase two newborn outfits, and then, using iron on letters and numbers, make one of the shirts say “Rubin” and a zero and the other say “Frantz” and have a -7 on it (for -7 months). Kim did the ironing and it came out pretty well (as the picture attests).

At the hospital we met with my boss and his wife, and he related the lengthy tale of their baby’s birth – to make a long story short her labor was induced over a period of 2 days, and when the time finally came the baby popped out with 3 pushes in 5 minutes. As we were running low on time, we gave them their “gifts” and asked them to open them up. My boss opened the shirts first, and thought they were pretty cute. He didn’t get it.

No one ever gets it. I don’t know if we aren’t direct enough, or it simply hard to believe that the Lord intends for me to have offspring (I wonder about that myself sometimes), but regardless the first reaction is usually, “I don’t get it”, then “Really?”, next “Holy Crap”, and finally acceptance.

After some leading questions, several diagrams, and an interpretive dance (thanks to the Syracuse Ballet Company) it finally sunk in and congratulations went all around. They were pretty excited (he’s been after me to have kids for quite some time). We were afraid we might be “stealing their thunder” by telling them at the hospital, but they didn’t seem to mind. Shortly after, time was up and we headed home.

So at this point, we only have a few people left to tell, at least for the initial pre 3-months round of tattling. A few co-workers and close friends…

Well the party is over, the 7 layer dip (actually it was only 5 layers because it was sans guac and tomatoes so it was technically a lie) is finished and the dishes have been washed (ok – piled into the sink). And the office is now aware of our shocking news. Well, mostly at least – my boss, who was unable to attend due to the sudden arrival of #2, is now the proud father of Benjamin Ray/Dean and in the dark.

We had an elaborate plan of ambushing our guests into figuring this all out. We bought a whole mess of “baby” stuff – things like baby powder, baby food, baby wipes, etc. which we then strategically placed in various places around the house. We also got some baby blocks which i strew about as well. Finally we had the gourds pictured to the left – i picked up some eyeglasses to represent me, and a witches hat for Kim (which she apparently has taken offense too – the truth hurts sometimes I suppose). And then we found the little gourd pictured in front. We figured this would be a pretty good indicator of our current “status.”

Well the guests arrived, and food was consumed. Conversations were had, and more food was consumed. And not a single one picked up on our “hints”, which in retrospect were probably a bit too subtle. So after a few hours, I pointed out the gourds – here’s me, with the glasses. Here’s Kim with the hat. And here’s… to which Chris in my office responded with “your baby! Ha – just kidding.”

“Actually…”

Everyone was shocked I think – makes sense because of the conversations we have in the office and my vehement denials that a baby is even in the works. But it’s nice to have the news out there – keeps from having to “do the dance” of coming up with excuses for various things, which according to them I’m not particular good at.

So all that’s left now is a few other people we want to tell at the moment – my boss and a couple others. Then things should return to normal, at least before the rest of the pregnancy junk starts. I keep waiting to go out at 3 AM for pickles and ice cream…

We assumed the rest of the mail would reach Philly the next day, and we braced for the crush of phone calls. My office is still in the dark (about the pregnancy and a lot of other, dark, dark secrets), so I pre-formulated rationales to leave the office to take the calls. “It’s my broker,” or “It’s my day to hang up on the telemarketers,” or even “Damn cats, always calling.” Kim and I IM’d back and forth all day in nervous anticipation.

Finally, around 8 PM we received a call from my sister, who lives about 30 minutes north of everybody else. The flow of mail apparently only makes it 3 hours in 2 days. She was naturally excited about the news, and vowed to maintain her silence until the rest received their announcements. General consensus of the announcement: “You are freaking weird.”

That brings us to today. Surely the world would receive it all today and i would be forced to delve into my excuses to stem the tide of my constantly buzzing cell phone. Kim and I IM’d back and forth all day in nervous anticipation, again.

Nothing in the morning.

Nothing in the afternoon.

Finally, around 5 Kim received a call from my sister in law. Then my grandmother. Then, finally and much to my wife’s delight, her mother called, and a week’s worth of pent up conversation flowed between mother and daughter. Nothing from my parents yet – although my grandmother let it slip that they know via her letter, but apparently haven’t received theirs yet.

Of course, ironically, they were the ones we were trying to surprise the most – they had no idea we were even trying.

Tomorrow, we clean up and hatch a plan to surprise my office friends at our party on Sunday. Our original plans have already gone up in smoke because my boss is currently in the hospital inducing labor. I asked if they thought they’d be done by Sunday to attend the party – I got a dirty look for my efforts…

Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men…

Regardless of my “digital tragedy”, the announcements went out this morning – 3 “scroll-like” announcments to our parents, and 6 folded letters to brothers, sisters and grand parents. We’re in an interesting situation – before we were waiting to tell everyone – now we’re waiting for them to contact us. Let the games begin…