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We’re Back, From Outer Space

royAfter a week in Vegas, we’ve finally returned, substantially poorer, but otherwise in good spirits. To round out a trip that began with such traveling woes, what better way to return than via a red-eye flight categorized by something Delta calls “special screening.” In a hilarious twist, Kim’s backpack somehow set off the explosive detection machine, much to everyone’s amazement. Luckily, they did not have to detonate her bag that was filled with, among other things, my camera and a box of chocolate poker chips. After flying out at midnight, we arrived home finally around 11:30 the next day.

It was a phenomenal trip, and I think that we saw nearly everything that the Strip has to offer – everything from David Copperfield all the way down to an animatronic Bacchus celebrating the mirth and merriment of an upscale shopping mall.
We stayed at 4 hotels, ate at 7 different restaurants for dinner in 6 different casinos, saw 3 full fledged Vegas shows, wandered the new Strip and the old Strip, and made some money at the roulette machine. And throughout it all, one question kept coming up, over and over:

TOURISTS OF LAS VEGAS: WHAT ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF?

Honestly, I’ve never been in so many pictures in my life. Sure, people were taking pictures of the normal things: casinos, fountains, drunken revelers puking into overflowing trashcans. But a lot of people were pointing cameras in directions that were just plain odd. Random walls. Ceilings. One gentlemen somehow convinced a cop on a Segway to allow him to tape him moving about on his “crazy contraption.” But my personal favorite was the fella who was intently videotaping a plasma TV that was displaying a video of a casino that hasn’t been built yet. What a wonderful memory that will be for him.

Anyway, I’ve prepared a smattering of reviews and insights regarding Las Vegas for your reading pleasure:

The Excalibur - Please, PLEASE turn one of your medieval turrets into a smokestack. This place holds cigarette smoke worse than a chimney. I felt like I was at a 24 hour AA meeting. With booze.

The Bellagio - You sounded too expensive to even walk through. Nice fountains, though.

Circus Circus – If there is justice and hope in the world, people will strap you with explosives and turn you into a parking lot for some better casino, or possibly some kind of missile proving ground. Kim and I both hope never to return.

New York, New York - Great casino, but low on authenticity. Free parking? Come on, do your homework!

David Copperfield – Amazing. But you couldn’t make my wife’s school loans disappear. I bet David Blaine could.

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Cirque Du Soleil – Intriguing? Yes. Mind boggling? Sometimes. Bizarre? Definitely.

Madame Tussauds – I’m taller than J. Lo? AWESOME.

So anyway, the blog should now return from it’s traveling detour back to the topic at hand, the quickly growing alien being attempting to claw it’s way out of Kim’s stomach. The OBGYN beckons only a few days after our return…

Posted in Las Vegas, Months 3-4. Tagged with , , .