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Baby’s First Accident

Well, I think we both assumed that baby’s first accident would occur in the hospital, and consist of a nasty substance my boss repeatedly has called “tar-like.” Honestly, he mentions it a lot. It’s a little uncomfortable for all of us – we just sort of do that nervous “ha ha, yes, that is amusing” while we look off into space. Anyway, as I was mentioning, we assumed baby’s first accident would occur after birth, and be caused by the natural forces that govern human digestive tracts.

Instead, baby’s first accident was caused by a chain smoking blond who was late for work at TGI Fridays. Yes, as Kim and I drove for an breakfast featuring internationally inspired cuisine (IHOP), we were rear-ended waiting to merge off of a highway exit ramp. The good news is that the tiny Honda Fit weathered the crash reasonably well – we were hit in the driver side left rear bumper – it messed it up pretty good but it missed the tailgate, and it certainly rendered the offending Dodge into a mangled one head-lighted undriveable hulk. The cops came and determined that we needed a tow as the wheel well was pretty crushed. In a weird twist of fate, the tow truck that came to tow us was for a body shop literally around the corner from our house. Within an hour, we were back on our way to breakfast, short one car but otherwise not worse for wear.

Sadly though, in the hour we lost taking care of the accident, the line at the IHOP grew to great lengths, and so we were forced to go to our backup plan. The french toast from Denny’s was good, but I think both of us will always wonder what the pancakes could’ve tasted like that day.

And to answer the questions I’m sure will follow, we are both fine. A day later, and neither of us have felt any ill-effects from the accident – we were hit at a pretty low rate of speed so in some senses it felt more like a failing clutch than a nudge from behind. I’ll be sure to ask our unborn child in 5-10 years if he/she remembers this day. Of course at this point I’m not sure it has a brain yet though. Hmm – I should probably go research that…

Posted in Months 3-4. Tagged with , , , .